Cheena massage post

"Come girl, 30 minutes for $25. It's very good."

With that, I nodded my head numbly and followed him into the shop, past the make shift curtains where I was left to wait for my server. It all felt kinda dodgy, but I needed it. I needed a massage.

And what's a girl to do when she wants a good no frills massage in Singapore? Obviously, all these hoity toity spas are out of the question for me, and massage classifieds in IS magazine seems to be flogging massages for men only ( think: Silk Stockings massages.. YES! Our masseuse comes in silk stockings!) *shudder* and what about all these 'Health Centres" with tinted glasses? *Double shudder*

But fuckit.. I was desperate.. and in my desperation I headed out to People's Park Centre where I faintly remembered some news about the proliferation of massage joints in recent months. There would be at least one decent joint providing what I was looking for. And no one wanted to join me.. except Applecow, but she had just returned from a field trip and couldn't get away. Harrumph.

Anyway, I made my way to People's Park centre, determined to find the least sleazy place and came across the first one "Teochew Ming Chinese Tui Na and Accupuncture" It looked alright.. nice open beaded curtains (with Panda pattern somemore!), and the man who attended to me didn't have permed hair, a moustache nor tattoos... so I thought, "what the hell.. might as well go for this one"

I was brought round the corner to another part of the establishment, and the uncle whipped aside a filmsy curtain divider and showed me into a small room. And I mean reaally reaally tiny. It had a bed, and while he went away to get my masseuse, I took the opportunity to check if the towels were clean. What if they give *gasp*'special' services? YIKES!!! But it looked ok. the good morning towels were a little threadbare, but clean. The partition was illumminated by a single orange bulb and there was toiletries and powder on a rack nailed to the wall. No alarm bells rang so I just sat and waited and examined acupoints posters plastered on the partition. A middle aged chinese lady came in after 5 minutes and we got down to business, although I was apprehensive and taking off my top literally in the middle of the shopping complex. That I did, but not without plotting emergency evacuation plans. As soon as the massage started all these thoughts flew out of the window.

It was soooo gooooooood.

I really needed someone to hack away at my stiff knotted up muscles and shoulder blades, and my god, the lady did a helluva good job. Oh yes.. no tailored 'aromatherapy oils' to suit your mood either. Everyone gets a good dousing of Johnson's baby oil. Cheap and good. I would have fallen asleep if I were at some posh place playing zen mood music, but because of my environs, I resolved not to. Anyone who knows me decently would know that I'm a super sleeper. I can get into REM sleep in just under 5 minutes! Fortunately, I was aided along by the background music of choice, courtesy of the electronics shop next door. A bopping disco medley of 60s and 70s oldies. Think Lobo melding into Abba followed by Petula Clark and back to some cheesy big haired, gold medallioned disco dude. All with the same upbeat disco-rock tempo. Hahaha. Halfway through, the DJ put on some Hokkien karaoke, but I guess it was driving the customers away, so back to the disco medley it was. If I wasn't so relaxed and at the mercy of the masseuse, I would have been laughing my head off at the hilarity of the situation.

30 minutes went by too soon, and before long, my session was over. No more aches, and the headache that was bugging me all day went away miraculously. I was almost sorry it was coming to an end.

Would I come back again? Defintely! The uncle promised me a free! sesssion if I came back 10 times! Foot reflexology, anyone? Mingko? ;)